Seven days from today I will witness my fiance become an Airman. He will no longer sign his name as AB [Airman Basic] Joshua A Taylor, it'll be A1C [Airman First Class] Joshua A Taylor. He will be a United States Airman, instead of trainee. There's no way I could fully say how proud I am to be marrying him.
I wasn't sure if I was going to blog today, or when the day before I see him, or after I say goodbye to him again. Because of getting mail from Joshua today, I've decided all three.
Last week I was a little worried about Joshua passing his PT, since he was struggling in WOT4. This week, I wasn't worried at all. He could only get better, and the Air Force puts a lot of money into their trainees (I read somewhere about $60k per trainee), so they REALLY don't want people to fail. Sheri was worried, though. I got two letters today, one was pure sap with some good information. The information being he got green belt (passed running requirements) and only needed 3 more push-ups. Nothing about sit-ups so I assume he passed that already. But Sheri and I are no longer worried.
I had to stop reading a few times due to emotions. I first stopped reading at "Dear Neurotic Lady Who Stole My Heart." I just stopped and waited to calm down. I didn't want to cry, I didn't cry, but if I had continued right then I very well might have. Then immediately after "Give it back? Bah, keep it. I love you." I stopped again. It's like he wants to make me cry! In one of his many P.S.'s, he added "I love you!" again. He ended the letter with "Goodnight, beautiful."
The second letter didn't have as much sap, but he was excited because he is so close to being done. I got my two questionnaires back, and he teased me in one of them. In our relationship, we don't call each other 'babe' or 'baby.' We just say 'love.' He does go "Okay dear," if I'm nagging him about something. But over the course of his BMT, mentally I think 'babe' about him. Like if I imagine talking to him, I call him 'babe.' I told him this. So in one of my questionnaires, I said "I love you! I ran out of questions lol."
"I love you too... 'Babe.' " I just stopped reading right there and blushed. I had forgotten that I told him that. I was embarrassed. I've been with him for four years, and he embarrassed me. Gah! Distance is a funny thing.
But I am just so excited. This next week will be slow. But yesterday was a busy day for me. I went to get my hair done (aka trimmed and got some red hair gloss that makes my hair look red in the sunlight), and then went to David's Bridal with Sheri and my mom. I picked a wedding dress. I have a wedding dress! It feels like we're getting married. Still not 100% on the date. March-ish. Depends on when he can get leave. Hoping on Spring Break so Brian doesn't get crap from his work (he's a teacher).
But yeah! Expect another blog post in 6 days!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Suicide Prevention
Today is Suicide Prevention Day. I find it chilling that it is a day before September 11th, a day in American history where nearly 3,000 people died due to a terrorist attack. Families suffered, spouses became widows. Children lost a parent. Parents lost a child. Depression can take hold.
Know the signs. Know that if you see a cut on an arm, that it's not just their business. It is yours, it is their family's. Do not think someone else will say something. Speak up. Help them. Hold them when they need to be held. Talk to them. Encourage them. Help them find hope and light in their dark world, because at that moment, all they truly see is darkness.
Everyone needs help at one point. Everyone needs that little boost of confidence, or that one person who will be there for them. Be that person; when you see someone crying, do not judge them for crying. Wonder why they are crying, and ask them if they're okay -- which they aren't even if they say they are.
Be patient, because that is the biggest part. If you push, they'll push back. Do not give up on them, even if they scream at you. Depression isn't just sadness. It's anger and irritability. Once you know that, just be patient. Don't push as hard, just be there for them. When they look sad, try cheering them up.
If you don't think you are strong enough to help someone, reach out. Go to a counselor, or their parents. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, and at living. If you see someone self-harming, or hear someone say a chilling statement along the lines of 'I should just end it all,' find someone. Those are signs that they need someone to hear them when they scream.
My best friend attempted suicide multiple times. He's drank bleach, he's bashed his head into a cement wall, and he has OD'd on ADHD pills (if you don't know, ADHD medication is like speed to someone who doesn't have ADHD).
His parents divorced, he came out as a gay high schooler, and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. So he was suffering the separation of the his family. He was suffering from his dad fully not accepting him because he is an Evangelical Christian, and the onslaught of bullying that comes with being different. And then to top it off, he discovered he has Bipolar Disorder.
His world was dark, so very dark. But I was there. I listened to him, hugged him when he needed a hug. I heard his cries. Even when I was hundreds of miles away, I saved his life. He told me one fateful day, the day before Easter, that he had OD'd on his ADHD meds. His parents couldn't do anything, I don't even remember why at this point.
I wasn't even in the same town as him. My best friend just OD'd, and no one could help him? I called my mom, and told her. She picked my best friend, and watched him diligently that night. She made sure he didn't sleep, made him drink milk. The next morning, Easter, I got a call from him. He was wired, to say the least. He was talking so fast, faster than I think he could think, but he was talking to me. Laughing, too.
Today he has a great fiance, they live together in a nearby small town. He's happy. He wouldn't have met his fiance if he had died. He wouldn't have a great life to look forward to.
Today is Suicide Prevention Day, and know the signs. Don't ignore their silent cries that show form in burns or cuts. Speak up and help them. Today could be the day that, when they go home, it'll be the last time they go home. They won't wake up again. You won't see their smile anymore.
Save a life.
Know the signs. Know that if you see a cut on an arm, that it's not just their business. It is yours, it is their family's. Do not think someone else will say something. Speak up. Help them. Hold them when they need to be held. Talk to them. Encourage them. Help them find hope and light in their dark world, because at that moment, all they truly see is darkness.
Everyone needs help at one point. Everyone needs that little boost of confidence, or that one person who will be there for them. Be that person; when you see someone crying, do not judge them for crying. Wonder why they are crying, and ask them if they're okay -- which they aren't even if they say they are.
Be patient, because that is the biggest part. If you push, they'll push back. Do not give up on them, even if they scream at you. Depression isn't just sadness. It's anger and irritability. Once you know that, just be patient. Don't push as hard, just be there for them. When they look sad, try cheering them up.
If you don't think you are strong enough to help someone, reach out. Go to a counselor, or their parents. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, and at living. If you see someone self-harming, or hear someone say a chilling statement along the lines of 'I should just end it all,' find someone. Those are signs that they need someone to hear them when they scream.
My best friend attempted suicide multiple times. He's drank bleach, he's bashed his head into a cement wall, and he has OD'd on ADHD pills (if you don't know, ADHD medication is like speed to someone who doesn't have ADHD).
His parents divorced, he came out as a gay high schooler, and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. So he was suffering the separation of the his family. He was suffering from his dad fully not accepting him because he is an Evangelical Christian, and the onslaught of bullying that comes with being different. And then to top it off, he discovered he has Bipolar Disorder.
His world was dark, so very dark. But I was there. I listened to him, hugged him when he needed a hug. I heard his cries. Even when I was hundreds of miles away, I saved his life. He told me one fateful day, the day before Easter, that he had OD'd on his ADHD meds. His parents couldn't do anything, I don't even remember why at this point.
I wasn't even in the same town as him. My best friend just OD'd, and no one could help him? I called my mom, and told her. She picked my best friend, and watched him diligently that night. She made sure he didn't sleep, made him drink milk. The next morning, Easter, I got a call from him. He was wired, to say the least. He was talking so fast, faster than I think he could think, but he was talking to me. Laughing, too.
Today he has a great fiance, they live together in a nearby small town. He's happy. He wouldn't have met his fiance if he had died. He wouldn't have a great life to look forward to.
Today is Suicide Prevention Day, and know the signs. Don't ignore their silent cries that show form in burns or cuts. Speak up and help them. Today could be the day that, when they go home, it'll be the last time they go home. They won't wake up again. You won't see their smile anymore.
Save a life.
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