Whose Life Is It?

First off: long time, no blog! Nothing really to blog about, really. Life is slow, uneventful, and I like that way. It means Joshua is safe, and nothing bad is happening with my wedding planning. So far, everything is lining up, but I'm holding my breath until I see Joshua in front of me. A little over sixty days left!

So the reason I'm blogging today is to state my mind on something that irks me. Today I was running errands with my sister and her two other bridesmaids (yes, my mom has to endure two weddings in one year, I don't know how she's managing!). We were heading to my reception hall so I could put money down, and we were casually chatting about it being a veteran's hall, and all the money goes to donations towards the non-profit that runs the hall (which ultimately go towards military vets).

It came up how it's been five months (I meant to say four, but my brain was fried from the heat) since I've seen Joshua, and one of the girls, A, looked shocked, like she couldn't fathom. She probably can't. I added it'll be six months when he comes home for leave. The other gal, L, said her man wanted to enlist and she shot it down SO fast. My sister and A agreed instantly, laughing, and chatted about how they would straight up refuse it, too.

So again, whose life is it? Whose career is it? With L, I can understand about their little girl who's under two. Children affect the decision. But the military would only make him stronger and more reliable, and a steady income for at least one enlistment. On top of schooling! He wants to become a better man for himself, as well as his family, and you tell him 'no' flat out. No consideration whatsoever?

Then inside the hall, my sister brought up how it annoyed her that you can't show PDA in uniform. REALLY? I told her that I hadn't seen him in two months [BMT grad] and understood. He upholds the United States military reputation in those uniforms. When I see him in uniform, I feel pride; not once did I feel stung and neglected because he was in his ABUs (Airman Battle Uniform) or his Dress Blues.

When we dropped off L and A, I told my sister what I thought about the comments on shooting it down. I stated it's their life, and if they want to enlist, they should. My sister pointed out that my relationship with Joshua from the get-go was founded on separation.

I second that, a few months into our relationship he moved 200mi away for school. But I saw him regularly, so at this point in my life, I don't even consider it anymore.

But then she added that separation wouldn't be good for L and A's relationships.

How would she know? How would any of them know? Do they not trust their men? If they're committed but having trust issues, there's a problem. If you feel like you two can't survive separation, is it meant to be? Especially if the separation is for such a good thing like the military?

But ultimately, do you truly have a good, healthy relationship if you cannot let them go for any length of time to better themselves? To prove something of himself, and to be a part of something bigger than himself?

It's a career choice. If you wanted to change majors and start from square one, but he told YOU no, how pissed would you be? And hurt? Aren't they supposed to support you in your life decisions, and help you along the way? With that being said, turn the tables around.

Aren't you supposed to support them in their life decisions? Hold them when they're down (or talk to them for 30 minutes while they cry in defeat), help them up and push them to do better? You'd want it done to you. A relationship is give and take, support and be supported. Do not shoot them down. You wouldn't want to be shot down so rudely.