A Ring!

So first of all: Merry Late Christmas! It's closer to New Year's, so Happy Early New Year's! Anyway... Christmas was nice. We had my mom open her gift first, a new camera. She was excited, I love seeing her like that. Overall, Christmas was good! I personally got a new reader, an Air Force teddy bear that sings The Wild Blue Yonder (picture below), and a new computer mouse. My old mouse was causing BSODs and kept disconnecting.

He sings very loud.

For my birthday, I was suspicious. Joshua had to have Shawn, his cousin and brother, there. Then Sheri's best friend (who has been at every major event for Joshua) was at my party last night. And Joshua wanted my to invite friends, so my best friend Josh and his fiance, Robert, were there; Joshua's and my high school friend, Jared, was there as well. I had a feeling I would get the ring last night.

My first gift was a Scentsy candle (flameless, scented candle). It has a Celtic love knot, and came with Iced Pine wax and Birthday Cake wax (perfect for a Christmas-time baby). I also got a necklace with two cats on it, since Joshua and I both have cats. I was awkward being the center of attention.

Joshua walked up and said, "Brandi, we have been together for three and a half years... Will you marry me?" I made a weird "ah" sound, which watching the video over, I feel embarrassed for saying. But I have my ideal ring, the Claddagh ring I showed a few blog posts ago.

It has two hands holding a heart with a crown on it. It symbolizes friendship, love and loyalty.

I will also post the video below. I knew we were getting married, had a suspicion I would get it last night, and it was on my mind all night, but I was still blown away. I am excited to have taken the next step, but it still hasn't sunk in. My mom keeps saying it, but I'm just mentally going "Wow." So I finish this post with the ever-so-awkward proposal (awkward for me, I don't know about Joshua).

A Date!

So we now know the date Joshua is leaving for BMT, February 26th. So we have Valentine's Day together, which I wasn't expecting. He's slotted for a mechanical field job, and we won't know what type of tech training he'll be doing until his third week into BMT. So we can't know a wedding date until he's already in BMT. I'm expecting a late Summer or early Fall wedding.

But nonetheless, my mind is screaming because I don't know when his tech training is done so we can start planning a wedding. I was hoping we could do at least some of the planning together. At this rate, it'll be a brief questionnaire when he calls from BMT, or informing him via writing letters. At least when he's in tech training it should be a little easier to get a hold of him (I believe).

On a different, but similar note, Joshua may get a tech job still. His new recruiter (his first one is getting ready for a year long deployment in Korea) suggested taking the EDPT, a tech-based test. This is a once-a-month test, and occurs on the fourth Monday of the month at the MEPS station. For us, our MEPS station is in San Jose, about 200mi away. The humorous catch: he'll be leaving for the EDPT test on December 23rd, and coming back the 24th. At which point we'll pick him up and enjoy the evening together, go to Midnight Mass  since I'm Catholic and the Midnight Mass is less crowded. Afterwards, at one in the morning, we're being dropped at his house to have a very early Christmas morning (at seven I think) with his family, and then being dropped back off at my house afterwards to have a late morning Christmas with my family. Hectic two days, in my opinion!

Then two days later is my 21st birthday. I agreed to try alcohol, and I'm dreading that. But not as much as Joshua's mom planning to have a birthday party for me. Not because I'm worried she'll be over the top, but because I'm not one to be the center of attention. She even asked me what my favorite dinner was... I don't know! How sad is that? I first thought biscuits and gravy, but that's not a dinner meal... Just give me Little Caesar's pizza with crazy bread. Or Taco Bell. Lots of Taco Bell. On the topic of birthday parties, I have a nagging suspicion something is happening during the party. Maybe the official proposal, or maybe just wanting to watch me drink alcohol, I don't know. But not often am I having a celebration for my birthday (I haven't had one since... middle school, I think). So I find it odd and suspicious.

I also got a kitten! Not sure if it's a boy or girl yet, but it's a black kitten so I named it Midnight. I think it's a girl. But my sister's boyfriend who lives with us has a cat who had kittens on November 1st and I got to keep one. They'll be eight weeks old on the 27th (my birthday). They're only six weeks old, but I love Midnight. She (until I find out otherwise) fell asleep in my lap earlier. She also has no fears of a giant German Shepherd, unlike her sibling who hisses at poor Barret. Apparently Midnight plays with Barret. I don't get to see much since the kittens and James' cat are in his room until they're comfortable.


Excuse the crappy quality, I have a crappy camera on my phone. But Midnight and Mango (named by James' grandparents). On the right you can see their mother, Sarah.

Anytime Now

Anytime now, Joshua should be getting slotted. I'm expecting him to go early January, but anything could happen. He could go Christmas Eve, really hope not, but whatever happens, happens. For now, every other Monday, Joshua goes into DEP Call and goes through extreme exercising for a couple of hours, to prepare for BMT (extreme because they're aiming higher than the highest achievement in BMT).

Joshua told me last night that his BMT won't be 8 1/2 weeks, like we all assumed, but instead 6 1/2. Someone from his DEP group sent a letter to inform them that the last flight for 8 1/2 weeks he was on. So that was a nice surprise.

My old classmate, Alex, just got engaged to her airman a couple of days ago. It was sweet, he proposed to her at his going away party. It must have been bittersweet for her. Newly engaged and her fiance is going away. And she has to stay here and finish school, which is responsible, but it must be saddening to be separated. Her fiance left for BMT today. I told her about the 6 1/2 weeks and that brightened her mood a lot. So I'm glad I was helpful.

Joshua asked me how I felt about "it coming up quick," aka how I feel about his BMT coming up soon. It hasn't hit me yet. I think it's going to be like when he went to DeVry 200mi away. I wasn't upset until the day before we left him up there (I was fighting tears the entire time). The biggest difference from that and BMT is this: communication. Even though he was 200mi away, I could Skype, text, or call him whenever I wanted (minus his class hours). With BMT I'll be waiting for a letter. There isn't that constant opportunity. If I'm stressed, I can't go to him. If I'm crying, he won't know. It'll be extremely lonely. But it hasn't hit me yet. I'm being the supportive girlfriend, cheering him on and smiling. I got my anxieties out early on, fears of him changing and him dying in combat (which I'll get that anxiety every time he is deployed).

But for now, when I think of those anxieties, I'm not worried. I'm happy he's going into something amazing, and will be getting an education, and will be able to support himself, as well as me. I'm getting to the point I'm excited that for the upcoming months. I'll get a ring to make our engagement official, and be planning a wedding. But for now, we are unofficially engaged. It's not official until it's on Facebook!

I'll also be moving to wherever Joshua is stationed. I'm excited for that, but also nervous. I've never been away from my mom and sisters. But excited because we'll be completely independent. I'm hoping Joshua will be stationed at Travis Airbase, which is north bay, if I recall. So it's a few hours from home, but still in the State, so family can drive to us or vice versa. And it's near the beach! We both love the beach so that'd be nice. Also it'll be nice during the first deployment to be able to take a weekend away to visit family and friends to distract from the anxieties and loneliness.

Waiting Game is Over... For Now.

So life has been slow for Joshua and I, since he was waiting for his waiver to be approved. His vision, which is near-sighted, is quite bad, so he can't fly jets (thank God). But his vision was bad enough to require a waiver being approved. So we waited.

Friday, Joshua announced his waiver was approved to my mom and I when she dropped me at his house. You know someone's excited when they're standing outside and it's the first thing they say. He doesn't admit it, but I know he was, and is still, excited.

So today he is heading to San Jose, once more, to swear into the Air Force and DEP in. So tomorrow he'll know when he's sent to boot camp. I'm not sure, but maybe find out what he'll be doing with job training. Not too sure anymore. All I know is tomorrow Joshua gets a free shirt (free as in signing his life away for eight years). But the recruiter says he won't leave for BMT until at least January. Which is nice, he'll be here for Christmas, his little brother's birthday, my birthday, and New Year's.

In my little life circle, my family finally found a house of our own, and we'll be moving into it on the 5th! Because of our eagerness, my sister Danielle has started "packing," aka "destroying our room and putting a few things in a box." But we'll celebrate Thanksgiving in our new home! The landlord is awesome, as well. He reminds me of my late grandpa, as well as Joshua's Papa.

Am I Selfish, or Just Respected?

So life is slow, still. Waiting on an approval (or denial) of a waiver for Joshua's eyes. But this post isn't about that, it's about his birthday and my anxieties, which is coming up soon. So before I say why I'm anxious on his birthday, I'll explain the background of my life.

First of all, everything about my mom's past says it's a miracle her, my sisters and I are alive. She was hit by a car when she was eleven, and it did serious damage. She can't read a book without migraines, she can't pop her neck, her wrist is aching, and her back is damaged permanently. So shocked she lived through that. Then she lived through having an alcoholic father, who wasn't sober until the last ten years of his life. The cycle didn't end there, she married an alcoholic (she didn't know until they moved in together). No one ever talks about their marriage and time together (I want to say it was from 1989-1994). My real dad's mom makes it seem like he was just ill and not there for us.

It's so much more than that. He was an abusive drunk. He stalked my mom when she first left him. We moved so many times in one year. I went to about six to eight different elementary schools in first grade, until finally we rooted in the house I lived in for fourteen years. But my real dad makes it seem as though my mom was a cheating, horrible parent. But I look at this way: who raised Danielle and me (his two children)? Who took care of us, who bathed us, who fed us, who made sure we were going to school? And no one ever talks about it. But there is a letter from my paternal grandma (who I love dearly, she's the only grandparent I've really spent any time with), apologizing to my mom for all the years of taking my real dad's side.

On top of this, I remember my mom telling me of a story of how my real dad, in a drunken rage, wrote 'slut' on one of her sweaters with a cigarette. Danielle and I were going through our shed one day, looking for something, and we came across it. It was the first valid thing that told us he wasn't a good guy. Then he wound up in our local newspaper as "City's Most Wanted," for several DUIs and a hit-and-run. He went to jail for those when they finally got him. DUIs meant he drank, frequently. So at the age of like, nine, I chose to stick to my mom's stories, believing her.

He's now sober, but I don't take his crap. I know my mom's sisters and brothers weren't the best of people. But they were 'hatched,' how my mom puts it. My maternal grandma worked three jobs until she was diagnosed terminally with Multiple Myeloma, a blood cancer. My maternal grandpa was an alcoholic. They had no role models. But now they're straight, respectable people. I love both my families. But when my real dad decides to complain and say bad stuff about my mom's family, I won't take it. So even though he's sober, we fight. I'm almost 21, I am not spoon-fed lies, like he thinks. I hear stories, make connections, see validations, and wish my families spoke more about those five years.

So alcohol has affected my life. A lot. I am also an anxious, neurotic person, whether or not people who see me regularly realize this (I know Joshua knows). So now "am I selfish or just respected?" Joshua's 21st birthday is fast approaching. His family is what I assume is the typical family. At 18, Papa (his grandpa) took him gambling for his first time. I know his mom will want to be the one to give him his first drink as a 21 year old, and take him to his first bar. But what about me? I am, first of all, a couple of months younger than him, so I can't go to the bar. That's fine, I'd babysit and use his laptop.

But that's not what'll bug me. I'll be sitting there, knowing he's drinking, and when he gets home I'll have to smell the alcohol on his breath. And may even have to deal with him being impaired. I told myself when I was younger I would never marry an alcoholic. I was lucky to meet Joshua, someone who doesn't seem too thrilled to drink. But I know he is almost 21. We had a discussion, and he gave me an ultimatum, to make sure I at least tried it (knowing my anxieties of alcohol). If he didn't drink on his birthday, I'd drink on mine. I agreed to this. But I don't know how to take this. Am I respected for my wishes to not want to be around him when he drinks? Or am I just selfish and he's aiding that selfishness? I also don't know how his mom will feel about me keeping him from a first she wanted to share with him. I just want to not be around drinking. I don't want to smell it on him. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

There's Rosemary, That's for Remembrance (for September 11th)

Today is the eleventh anniversary of the Twin Towers attacks, along with the Pentagon. So many lives were lost, so many families never to hear from their families again, never to see their smile, hear their laughter. It was definitely a dark day in American history.

I remember being at home when my stepdad came out, shocked, and told my mom to switch it to CNN. I was only nine, all I knew was CNN was a very boring channel that he loved my mom checking out. I was leaning against our couch, putting my shoes on getting ready for school, when I saw it. My younger sister saw it. We all saw it, the replays of the towers (both, since I am on the west coast, and it was about seven am).

I don't remember everyone else's reaction, but I was in shock. Several things went through my nine-year-old head. First of all, I've been on a plane (definitely not a 747 but I knew a lot of people were on those planes), so I knew they were hurt. I don't recall if I knew to what extent how badly hurt (or dead). Second thought was the terror of planes. To this day I haven't been in a plane since I was seven or eight. Other thoughts went through it, but those two definitely were the most important.

I don't remember going to school that day, the entire memory of Sept. 11, 2001 was in my living room, just in shock. We left CNN on for the rest of the week. I remember listening to my stepdad and mom's dinner conversations one night and they were discussing how the president (Bush Jr.) declared war on Iraq. Those dinners were so frustrating when I got older: I was a Democrat daughter to two Republicans. But at nine years old, I just knew the very core of what war was: a huge fight. So my mind translated it as: "They punched us, we're going to punch back."

A year had passed, and being ten, I thought "9-11, 9-1-1. What the heck, did the terrorists mean for that?" I was ten and knew what 'terrorist' was. At ten, I knew who al-Qaeda was, and I knew who Osama Bin Laden was. At ten, I knew the entire song to "God Bless America," because for the first year, every Friday morning my elementary school went to the flag, said the Pledge of Allegiance, and then sung God Bless America.

At nine, I went through American history. It was definitely my generation's JFK assassination. I will tell my children and grandchildren of my memories. Even Joshua's younger brother, who was born in 2000, only knows the core details. I remember us asking him, and it took him a second, but he said "Planes hit the Twin Towers." I was always curious if the next generation would be taught of 9-11, since it was a very recent historical event, and how early they would be taught. I know all schools do a memorial event, a "moment of silence," type of deal, but I wondered if it would be like JFK, where I didn't know anything about him until middle school. In elementary school, the worst thing we learn of in American history is Martin Luther King Jr. being killed. But we didn't know fully as to why he died. We didn't know it was due to racism and him being radically different for his era.

Almost 3,000 people died that September day. Those 3,000 people's families had to endure the sadness when they didn't get the phone call saying that their loved ones were okay. Those families had to endure a fragile hope of their loved ones just being lost in the chaos. Those families' hopes were shattered when they got a call about their loved ones, but it wasn't a joyful call. I will never forget September 11th, 2001.

Letters to Home

I've told Joshua that I would like letters from him in BMT. One: things come up, and I'm positive he'll call his mom for the weekly call and hope I'm there. What if I can't get there, though? Money is tight, my mom's car is about to die, and Joshua's family likes to travel out of town. I would like to think for those eight and a half weeks, the once a week calls would all be met, we all be there to talk to him... But I always expect the worst, that way if it does happen, I'm not crushed. That's how I've always been, and it's not going to change for BMT.

Two: letters will give me something to look forward to once or twice a week (not sure how frequently to and fro). If I get real upset, I'll think "Well in a couple of days I'll have a letter to respond to, to talk to him." It gives me that sense of somewhat regular conversation we have now. It may not be as frequent as now, but it'll be more frequent than the once a week call. And I have a feeling when I'm really sad, I'll just write a sub-letter to him, to attach to the next letter. Writing letters is like this blog, a coping mechanism.

Since this blog looks really short and pathetic, I think I'll add a random topic that is in the news, and my opinion on it. So the topic is Todd Akin and "legitimate rape." He says pregnancy during rape is impossible because the female body realizes that it's being raped and "shuts down." Oh, how I wish it were that way! Really, I do. I wouldn't wish it on any woman to get pregnant from her attacker, but the chances are the same as a one-night fling. The egg is there no matter what, the body can't kill it if raped. Whether or not I believe in abortion, this just doesn't sound right to me. Being a woman, I know my body can't just stop an egg from being fertilized. If anything, you may miscarry from the fear of being a new mom, remembering your attacker every time you go to the doctor, seeing your attacker in your child, and worrying your child will become like your attacker. All of those stresses take a toll, and you have a chance of losing the baby. That's the only way your body "shuts down" a pregnancy. So I don't understand how Akin got to this hypothesis.

Am I Ready?

Last night, Joshua asked me two questions his mother, Sheri, asked him. The way he said it "Here's food for thought." These questions are very valid questions, and after thinking about it, I decided to blog about them since they are very relevant to the blog.

Q1: Am I ready to be married? 
How do you answer this without knowing from experience? I'm only 20, almost 21, I've never been through a marriage before. People my age are partying, having fun, stressing over midterms and finals... I've never been that type of person. In high school, only one year was I off the path of "do homework, don't ditch, don't hang out with people." But that was due to stress, not willingness.

I don't think I'm not ready. I don't feel nervous or sad at the thought of marrying Joshua. But I also am not excited, yet. Nothing really says "we're getting married around June." I don't have a ring yet. I've looked at like, two dresses in Fulton Mall (a very cheap mall that half is closed down), and my aunt has decided to sew the bridesmaids dresses. But I don't feel like a fiancee yet. I think once the official proposal is done, and we start saying "We're getting married," to everyone, not just a couple of people, I'll feel that giddiness.

But how do I say I'm ready when I've never been married? Joshua and I have spent a lot of time together in the last two years, especially the last year, after he came back from his old college. We can spend a month together without separation, not having fights. If we do fight, we are so very quiet about it. We both sit there stewing until I decide to talk and try to get out of the fight (it always works). On top of this, I've never suffered a financial issue with Joshua. I don't know how the stress of "how will we pay bills" will affect Joshua and myself. But that's the only thing I can imagine would really stress us out. We've chatted about how we'll do chores, how we'll budget, etc.

Q2: What if I Can't Handle Military Life?
Again, how do I answer this without experience? I would like to think I could step up and be a military wife, enduring the stresses of deployment, and the fact I most likely won't know half the things Joshua is doing at work. If I was really unable to handle deployment, I think I would vacation to home and spend time with friends and family to distract from the anxieties. If I had kids, I don't know if it wasn't summer. I think I would try to hide my worries from the kids and try to get out of the shell and spend time with other military spouses.

The only things I can see myself stressing over, to the point I may not want to be a military wife: being away from the only city I've ever lived in, and deployment. But the question stands: what if I can't handle it? I always told Joshua I would follow him, because he would be my husband, and that's where his work would take him (like if he worked out of town since Fresno has 0 jobs). It just so happens, with his upcoming job, moving is part of the package. Separation for 4, 6, 8 or 12 months is a part of the job. I just have to suck it up and deal with it. After the first move and the first deployment, I think I'll be able to cope, knowing what to expect. But what if I can't? Then I deal with it. I'm not going to leave where my husband is just because I'm stressed. I'll take up therapy if it gets really bad. If I can't handle deployments, like I said before, I would vacation.

But I don't know yet, because I haven't been a military wife yet. That's what this blog is for: my experiences from becoming a girlfriend to a guy, to becoming a wife to an airman. My readers will see what exactly I go through. Joshua will see what I go through after BMT and he has access to internet again. This is one way I cope: I express myself via written word. I've already suffered some anxieties about BMT and deployment. But I haven't since talking about them with Joshua, and I'm glad. This is just a life I have to take day-to-day, and I'm not used to that.

Changes

For those who have been on my blog since I first posted it (that's what, a week and a half ago?), you'll notice the layout changes. For starters, ads are finally on the blog! Secondly, layout's different altogether. I wanted something that was me, so I opted for a personal touch. I got one of my favorite pictures of Joshua and me, edited it a little, and got a shell background. We love the beach. And since our wedding will be at Pismo, seemed to suit the blog even more.

Speaking of the wedding, my mom is so stubborn. She wants everyone in the bridal party dressed up. It's a beach wedding, having khakis and a colored button up shirt would be plenty fine for the groomsmen. So long as the colors matched the bridesmaid dresses. I'm really hoping for a marine-colored bridal party. That blue is gorgeous, in my opinion. If all goes well, it should, since my aunt offered to make my sisters' bridesmaid dresses. She's an awesome seamstress, so I think that'll be her wedding gift to me (it'll be a lot cheaper to buy the fabric rather than the dresses themselves).

Now for other matters. Joshua goes back to San Jose next Monday, just so an eye doctor can say "You see fine with glasses." We could have taken him to an eye doctor, but he's not insured, so at least this is a free eye exam. After that, he goes up to San Jose twice more. One for the EDPT test (ha, remembered!), and then the last time, I believe, will be for getting sworn into the Air Force.

Joshua needs to open a bank account, as well, since his checks will be directly deposited. His recruiter suggested USAA for a bank. The benefits of having a checking account with USAA looks really good compared to other places. Like they waive ATM fees up to either 15 times or $15, I don't recall. When he opens an account there, it'll be a joint bank account for him and me, and I'll put my loan checks in there as well.

Last week, him and I just sat there talking about budgeting: which company for what, and what package we should get. It was fun, and I don't know why. I'm not sure when, but once he starts getting paid, we'll most likely get our own phone plan, which opens two slots on his parents' plan (meaning his grandfather and brother will be put on the plan). Then we determined Xfinity for internet, if it's where we happen to live. Better internet than AT&T's. But we'll have phone and television (I'm not sure if U-Verse is cable or satellite, or just considered digital) with AT&T. Budgeting was fun, for some reason. We even made sure to include about $200 for groceries in the budget. I can't remember how much that left us for rent, but we weren't worried. This all depends if we can get his 45+ credits from his old college before BMT. Otherwise, we'll budget again for the hell of it. We're lame, but we're excited for the idea of being on our own.

Wedding Stuff

So I'm noticing that I post a blog when something pops into my mind. Right now, it's about my and Joshua's wedding and reception. Various things, as well. Like a ring, we don't have one yet, due to funds. I thought I wanted a silver ring, and then I looked up Claddagh (clah-dah) rings, which are rings that originate from 17th century Ireland. There a couple of theories of why created, but the ring is unique in its design. It has hands holding a heart, in front of a crown. The hands symbolize friendship, the heart love, and the crown loyalty. The symbolism is enough to win me over, but then I saw this ring:
It's sterling silver, so I'd have to maintain it, but this ring is gorgeous. The contrast, and the green gem, it just won me over. And the green gem changes to topaz in sunlight. Another reason I would personally like a Claddagh wedding ring is the proper way of wearing it. If engaged, the point of the heart is facing the finger tips on the left hand. If married, the point on the heart faces the wrist on the left hand.

Another wedding thought is the reception. I am so very against alcohol, and I love the fact Joshua supports my distaste for it. As of right now, I want a dry reception, because you get a bunch of people with alcohol behind them and it's a whole crap storm. And my family is huge, and Joshua will have plenty of people, as well. So I don't want drama for my reception. But my mom, who is also against alcohol, says the reception will be boring without it. How the heck would she know? All of the weddings she's gone to had alcohol. As Joshua says (paraphrasing), "If they would rather have alcohol, then it's better if they don't come." A reception is what, two or three hours? Augh. My mom is annoying me to no end on that aspect. Come December, when I turn 21, if my opinion changes, it changes. As of right now, NO ALCOHOL. Dealt with it enough already, I don't want it at my reception for my wedding.

Well that's all for now.

School Time Rambles

Being that Joshua won't be sent to BMT until December or January, he decided to do one more semester of schooling. With that being said, Monday he starts back up. I go to school full time, but my major is multimedia and design, focusing on web design. And in Fresno, not a whole lot of professors here to teach me, so I study online. I can't remember the last onsite class I had. On top of that, my school is year-round, so my summer break is two weeks long, I have a week long spring break, and a week for winter.

So from spending every day together, it'll be shortened to every weekend. We have texting so it's not bad. That's what is going to kill me when he's at BMT. No texting, or good night calls. I'll have to wait for his first letter to me, or most likely to his house (I doubt he'll remember my address, since I haven't lived here long). Also, I'll have to somehow manage to get to the other side of town for the once-a-week call, because I doubt he'll call me; I see him calling his mom and hope I'm there.

I've been reading posts on Military SOS about "how do I cope with his/her absence?" The advice is simple: stay busy. How do I stay busy though? My homework's a breeze and I can't find work (I've been trying). So I think I'll try to take up other hobbies. Maybe let's plays (Youtube commentary on games), but I need a mic... I could potentially just borrow my boyfriend's mic. I can write, but for how long? I could do NaNoWriMo, I've tried three years now, and God knows I'll have plenty of time around November. I could try crocheting, but that costs money. I could feasibly just spend every waking minute planning my wedding with Joshua, but I hate girly things. So the next couple of months, I have to find something to keep me busy. Otherwise, it'll be the longest three-four months (counting his job training) ever.

MEPS

So Joshua came back from MEPS yesterday afternoon. He passed all of the Air Force's requirements for the physical part. He was proud, and shocked, that he was able to lift 100lbs above his head. I found it amusing, along with his experiences with twelve other men in their underwear (he insisted I add that little bit). His only problem he had was his vision. I don't understand why, but they tested his vision unaided. He's worn glasses for as long as he can remember. He's near-sighted, so of course he would have a crappy result with an unaided vision test. So he's somewhat disqualified. In a week or two, he'll go back to San Jose to have an eye doctor tell us what we all know: he has good vision with glasses. It just means he won't be a pilot. We knew he wasn't going to be one to begin with. He also took the DLAB, a test to qualify him as a crypto linguist (I think that's what it was called). He passed the Air Force's requirement, which is getting a score of at least 100, which enables him to learn any of the languages. So that's a job option for him, even though he's not too interested in it. His recruiter is going to send Joshua back to San Jose to take a test for computers... It starts with an E, I never remember it. (It's EDPT. Can you tell he's proof reading for me?)

As for me, when he left for MEPS, I did the blog post and decided to see if there are any support websites or forums for Air Force spouses/significant others. I found two right away, but one is easier to register at and supports all branches. For anyone reading who has a loved one in the military: Military SOS, "Military Significant Other Support." The people are friendly, and active support when you need advice. I can see myself going there a lot for support from others. The only other person I know personally who is in the same spot as me is my old classmate, Alex, and I don't want to just rely on her. I know what it's like to put on a strong front, while secretly you're just as anxious and scared as the people you're comforting. I hope she can talk to me, too, like I have her a few times. But I won't try pushing her. So I decided to put the link to Military SOS in this post for my friends and family.

On an unrelated note, I think I'll be building a website for another old classmate of mine... Well, her father. It'd be my first website not for school, and I don't think I'll charge him. Or I may do what Joshua told me, and ask her father what he thinks it's worth. And on top of that, he has to decide if he wants my to maintain it, which would be a payment per maintenance. But I don't feel comfortable asking for payments yet, especially from an old classmate's family member. But if I do this, that'll be something for my resume! So I'm kind of excited for that. Well that's it for this post!

My First Post

I decided to post the first post on this blog when he went to MEPS, which I'm not too sure what it stands for, but it's to make sure my boyfriend physically and mentally able to join the Air Force, if I recall correctly. I got impatient so I posted early, but he leaves for MEPS tomorrow morning.

I'll start by introducing myself. I am Brandi, and I am 20 years old. I turn 21 on December 27th. I was born and raised in Fresno, CA, and live with my mother, two sisters, aunt and uncle. My boyfriend, who is joining the Air Force, is Joshua. He is also 20, he turns 21 before me (I won't say his birthday because I don't know if he wants me to post it).

Joshua decided to join the Air Force because Fresno has a horrible lack of jobs. We will be married sometime after he finishes his training for what he'll do in the Air Force. We were planning to get married before he went to BMT (Basic Military Training), but the recruiter told us if he got married before, he could be disqualified. Still don't have a positive answer as to why, but we think it's due to not wanting Joshua distracted at BMT.

My feelings for him joining, since I will follow him where he goes, are these: I am anxious, proud, eager, and sad. I am anxious because of the fear of him going into combat and me losing him. I am also anxious, and I know this is an irrational fear, of him changing into a completely different person in BMT. I know he'll be more mature, but I still worry of more drastic changes. I am proud because he's going into military, and that he got a perfect score on the ASVAB (he was beaming the entire day of the test). I'm eager because it means him and I are starting a life together soon. We'll be out of our homes, being independent, and travelling. I want to visit places, but I'm also sad for leaving our families. My mom keeps saying "I'm going to miss my grandbabies growing up." I really want to try to have the grandparents, and great-grandparents, not miss out too much. Skype, phone calls, pictures, and visits to and from are what I want to do. And when he's deployed, I may very well move back to Fresno. Or if I cannot go with him to where he's stationed, since some of them are in combat zones.

This blog will be mostly about my experiences of becoming a girlfriend to a military wife. I may post various other things, like my day, or something bugging me or I am really excited for. But it will be about my experiences as Brandi (thus the url).

I'm going to try out Google's AdSense. The ads shouldn't be too bad. If I get a lot of complaints, I'll remove them.

But this is my first post!