Anyway, through these mediums, I've learned that Fridays are "Red Fridays," to remember everyone on deployment. So I'm going to wear red on Fridays, or try to (I only have one red shirt, maybe there are shirts out there with the 'Remember the Deployed' text or similar). I've also learned that every week, there are people dealing with what Sheri and I just went through: saying goodbye to a trainee for BMT. So I can be there for others, telling them it does get easier, or at least you don't cry every day.
This shirt is very accurate for Red Fridays. I think when I have money to spare, I'll buy it :)
I've also realized how hyper aware I am now of couples. I feel like I'm in high school, and everyone around me seemingly has a significant other, and I'm left out. Except I do have a significant other, he just so happens to be 1600 miles away, getting yelled, shooting guns, and learning how to fight in a war zone.
I first realized this hyper awareness at a play. Joshua's cousin, Shawn and his girlfriend, Haley were there, and cuddling and kissing in front of me. I don't expect them to not show affection, nor do I expect strangers to know my life. But God, it sucked. I looked up at the night sky a few times to not look at Shawn and Haley. I wasn't fighting tears, but I was sad.
I miss Joshua's presence. I miss doing those things. It's only been six days since he swore in. So I think it'll get easier, I won't cry, but those affections will definitely strike me in my heart. I am a girl, I'll feel jealous, but who doesn't feel jealous over anything? My jealousy lies with everyone being able to be with their significant other. At least it's not over something petty like materialistic things, I guess?
Blogging is a nice way to vent, so I'll blog. My next blog may be about when I get my first letter from Joshua, or call from him. Or perhaps I learn something new about the military typical civilians don't know (like Red Friday, I didn't know of that till I liked those Facebook pages). Or perhaps, the USAF Basic Military Training Facebook page will have pictures of BMT and I see Joshua. Nonetheless, I will find something to vent about, believe me.
I first realized this hyper awareness at a play. Joshua's cousin, Shawn and his girlfriend, Haley were there, and cuddling and kissing in front of me. I don't expect them to not show affection, nor do I expect strangers to know my life. But God, it sucked. I looked up at the night sky a few times to not look at Shawn and Haley. I wasn't fighting tears, but I was sad.
I miss Joshua's presence. I miss doing those things. It's only been six days since he swore in. So I think it'll get easier, I won't cry, but those affections will definitely strike me in my heart. I am a girl, I'll feel jealous, but who doesn't feel jealous over anything? My jealousy lies with everyone being able to be with their significant other. At least it's not over something petty like materialistic things, I guess?
Blogging is a nice way to vent, so I'll blog. My next blog may be about when I get my first letter from Joshua, or call from him. Or perhaps I learn something new about the military typical civilians don't know (like Red Friday, I didn't know of that till I liked those Facebook pages). Or perhaps, the USAF Basic Military Training Facebook page will have pictures of BMT and I see Joshua. Nonetheless, I will find something to vent about, believe me.
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