It'll All Be Fine in October

So today was the day Joshua has been working for since Memorial Day of last year: he swore into the Air Force and left for Basic Military Training (from now on, BMT).

Originally, Sheri, his mom, was going to work yesterday, to keep her mind off of Joshua leaving. Brian, his dad, and I were going to drop Joshua off at the recruiter and that was that; we weren't going to see him swear in. But over the weekend, Sheri had a "moment." It was hitting her how big this really was. I had a similar "moment" a few days prior; it resulted in a good cry.

Monday morning she called in sick. We were going to see Joshua swear in. Sunday night, however, was very difficult for me personally. First, empathy simply sucks. Every time Sheri cried, I fought tears. Then, Joshua shaved his mustache. I knew it would affect me, but wow... It really affected me. I really had to fight crying. In our four years together, not once did he not have a mustache. And in two strokes of an electric razor, it was gone. It made him look a lot younger, and a lot more like his genetic contributor and younger half brother.

Then the "talk." We stayed up until about 1am Sunday (er, Monday?) talking. Well, mostly I was sitting there waiting for Joshua to gain composure. "It's our last night together." Which all we did was talk until we felt ready for sleep. He had also decided to leave his wedding ring with me, since he didn't want something to differentiate him from other trainees -- which is understandable. But my God it was a tear-jerker, sappy comment. "Keep this ring for me, and when you're sad, I'll be with you symbolically." Even now that brings tears to my eyes.

But I didn't cry. I wanted to be supportive, instead of being supported. Joshua is very much a caregiver, and that's perfectly fine on a normal day. But this was his turn to be supported.

Monday we drove up after dropping him off. We spent time with him in our hotel room (a block away and half the price of the hotel MEPS uses), and had dinner with him. Then after his 8:30pm meeting, we walked over and spent the last hour together with him in the lobby of his hotel. It was hard leaving him. He was anxious and not feeling good to his stomach.

Today, Tuesday, we woke up early and headed out to the MEPS station. My stomach was in knots, worried for Joshua. We sat in the waiting area for recruits (waiting for the family waiting area to be cleaned). We saw Joshua walk by twice. God he was focused. He did not deter from his path, and it was humorous. Thinking back, it could have been a good distraction for him from his stomach.

Finally, Joshua was able to sit with us. He did not feel good, or look good for that matter. He couldn't sit still, he was pale, and he felt nauseous. All from nerves, but he looked sick. A tear fell from him, too. It was extremely hard -- but I did not want to cry. Not in front of him. I was extremely quiet, because I knew if I spoke at times, I would cry. He knew it too, but I didn't cry.

Around 9:30am, he went into a room with other trainees being sworn in, I assume a briefing, and we could see him pacing because he felt better moving. At last, it was time for the swearing. A funny Army guy was killing time, waiting for the woman who would swear in the (I think) thirteen Navy and Air Force trainees. The woman, also Army, came in to swear them in. It was hard, but Joshua didn't look sick to his stomach. It was actually cool to see him standing firm.

After the swearing, we could take pictures. These are my favorite pictures (in favorite-to-least favorite order):

 

He looks so proud. And different without that mustache. I miss it lol.

 

Him standing next to the Air Force flag.

 

Him and Me, next to the flag. I look like shit. Thus it's my least favorite of the three.

We had about another hour with him before the shuttle came to get him. Kissing him 'goodbye' was hard. It took all my strength to not cry as we got our IDs back from MEPS. But as soon as Sheri and I walked out of the door (Joshua in the shuttle), we cried. It was fairly short, but I finally cried.

About 10 minutes later I got a text: "I love you. It'll all be fine in October."

I replied "God why did you send that, I just got done crying." We had three hours to text, it was nice. He texted when he had a lay over in Dallas.

The last event of the night, the scripted call. I was to recieve this call, and Sheri will recieve the call with the address to mail to him. I knew it was scripted. I knew it caught people off guard. But I didn't think it would really catch me off guard, since I was aware it was a script. It seriously did. I said 'Hello?' and in was a rushed sentence. No pauses. "I'm here, I made it, I love you, good bye." I managed to say "I love you, too." I couldn't even say 'Good bye.' Nor did he wait. When the call ended I just started bawling. My sister was hugging me, which was nice. My mom did too. Afterwards, my sister's fiance hugged me as well.

Out of all of this, I am proud I am engaged to Joshua (well, I was proud of him either way, but this is a major step). I'm proud of myself for not crying in front of him. October needs to come here fast, I miss him already.